Sunshine

 When I was a small child my parents called me Sunshine because I always woke with a smile and a giggle. I loved to play in my pretty dresses with the ruffled panties. I always ended up tearing the ruffles off and walking around with them hanging half off my butt. My mom would have to snip the ruffles off so I wouldn’t trip.  I loved playing on the farm, in the fields, in the barn, and at our Crab Apple tree. I loved getting dirty and having my feet on the earth. I love my pony Pixie and my horse Molly. We had pigs and chickens, and a turkey named Granny. As I got older, the farm got sold, I still woke with a smile. I looked forward to days of playing on the block with the neighbor kids. We put on plays and some of them dressed up as Kiss, we played Capture the Flag, Ghost in the Graveyard. We had a blast. This was during the week and weekends all of my elementary and middle school days. We added a pool in those years and that added to the joy. Summers were spent in Maryland at my grandparents house on Guy way. Oh how we had the run of that block. We played kick ball, went crabbing, played in the yard with Gale and Janie. Then my grandparents more to Miami and we would stay with Uncle BeBe’s or one of the other relatives. We would go pool hoping, paint plaster of Paris plaques. We’d go to baseball games and watch the Orioles play. During this time in my life I lost a really good friend to suicide. We were super close and I blamed myself for not seeing the signs of trouble.  I was in 7th grade. Now, for a while, I lost my smile. I didn’t want to do much, and I kept to myself. I bounced back after a while and decided I would see her again in heaven. In 9th grade I  started work at the Hungry Hounds waiting tables ( booth and counter actually) and loved it. I smiled every time Grace would put me on the schedule. I loved the people, the stories, friends. I was clogging and skating, these were great times. My parents didn’t call my sunshine anymore. I guess I didn’t wake up with a smile on my face. I started having my own opinion and that didn’t make them happy. I didn’t think like them. They called many other things. I still smiled. 

I am now well into my fifties, with adult responsibilities. My kids are grown and gone. They do live near by and I get to see my grand babies.  I don’t have a husband anymore. I do have a cat that adores me. I have travels all over the states and camped in the best spots. I drove to Alaska and spent 6 months there as a tour guide. I still love getting dirty and having my feet on the earth. I paddle board and kayak the springs in Florida. There is always a reason to smile. I still think of myself as Sunshine. 

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